Families at Risk.
"Because sin will abound, the love of many will grow cold." - Jesus.
There are some excellent families, raising children to be responsible sound adults; however, these are outnumbered by people who know no other way than to be dysfunctional. Reasons to be dysfunctional abound and those who cling to them find that from within the dark cloud called life, they are unable to see how to end the pain.
Dysfunctional people often do not see the effects that others have upon them, nor do they understand why their dysfunctional behaviors exist. In addition, dysfunctional people rarely understand that they can end the dysfunctional behavior and change the outcome of their lives and the lives of the people they influence.
What is dysfunctional behavior?
We can leave this answer up to the writers of the "Simpsons," or watch a season of "Married with Children" who each graphically display a humorous look at dysfunction. Yet dysfunction is complex and will evidence itself in actions like, chaotic parents who behave in a wild inconsistent manor with their children. Some are childlike and act needy or incompetent; others are abusive, raising their voice, threatening, and even becoming physically aggressive towards them.
Dysfunction is also exhibited when parents are stiff spoken, ridged in their discipline denying an inner life for the child. They may smother the child or work towards isolating them from social mixing.
We can add to the list parents who allow their children to experiment with alcohol, sex, and drugs; however, less defined are the dysfunctional behaviors of controlling children by withholding praise, affection, love, money, or anything else a child needs or wants.
Some parent's dysfunction lies within their perception of themselves. Because they struggle with an addiction like weight control, or a social imbalance, they force their youth to live in like manor causing mental stigmas leading children to eating disorders, binging, and even poor understanding of good citizenship or financial practices.
The problem is dysfunction breeds dysfunction and people act and react in ways they do not understand, stemming from experiences with their parental influence. Even when children disagree with their upbringing, living in the dysfunction shapes them mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Why do violent crime occur?
Each action that people make is influence by their past. When interviewing people in the aftermath of tragedy, often it is found that the person acted because of a deficit or defeat suffered during life.
As children we are often influenced to take responsibilities to make up for the dysfunction surrounding us thus triggering in many an instinct to survive. Children will take the parental role, or become responsible for the well being of siblings. Some become quiet trying to be inconspicuous, ignored, or hidden.
Some will have difficulty expressing their emotions, where others will use comedy to divert attention away from problems. Others will capitalize on other people's emotions to gain what they want. They may also become selfish and demanding of attention from those they allow into their world.
Low self esteem, difficulty in expressing emotions, poor self image, angry, obnoxious, anxious, or depressed, are all byproducts of a dysfunctional environment. From this you can see why crimes occur.
Yet the Bible says, "For all have sinned and have come short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23) thus labeling every human as having a deficit. This one statement by the Apostle Paul explains that because of sin, we all have some type of dysfunction and He explains that the answer is in a savior, Jesus.
A person who identifies their dysfunction can make changes to break the hold and change the outcome of their lives. This ending of dysfunction can change the lives of future generations and create families of honor.
Such was the case of the author of this article. Coming out of his teen years, he identified that his parental upbringing had left emotional scars upon his life. He determined to end the dysfunction by starting his own family, allowing God to be his guide.
Upon meeting his future wife, the young couple started to attend church services and committed their lives to Jesus Christ, being baptized and agreeing that they both would break the dysfunction they were raised to know.
It was no overnight conversion, but took time and care with ever yielding of their wills, emotions, and desires to the correction offered in the scriptures. Even after raising two children into adult life, the dysfunction that they sought to break still carried overtones into their personalities and the lives of their children. However, the family seeks the goal of ending the dysfunction.
Immediate change has a huge impact when choosing to break dysfunction; yet time is needed to remove the long term effects that dysfunction has and often that will occur in future generation. Yet it takes one person to start that change and many lifetimes to correct the past.
If you are one that seeks to break the dysfunction, contact ChristianWorker.org to tell us your story and open up the opportunity for us to encourage you today! Everyone needs an influence towards good actions, let us be yours. Write us at tcw@christianworker.org.
